Contemplating Happiness

Lately I have been thinking about happiness and what it means to me. What I sacrifice my quest to attain it and how I define it. I've realized that all this is something that has changed over the past years and I think it is something that will continue to do so. Before my psychosis... Continue Reading →

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Enjoying Okay

Never thought there'd be a day I enjoyed everything being okay. Not good or great, just okay. Because okay means things are manageable. Okay means not being overwhelmed by the voices or shadows. Okay means being able to take care of my needs without needing reminders. Finding joy in okay came after moving past the... Continue Reading →

Good Day

For the first time in weeks I woke up to silence.. No chatter from the voices, no muffled mumbling or noises from the shadows. No confusion trying to distinguish between my thoughts and implanted thoughts. It was like walking out of a loud venue into a silent, soundproofed room. I knew things were bad but... Continue Reading →

Breathing..

Feels like all I have been able to successfully handle in the past weeks has been breathing. Everything else just keeps happening and I'm just riding this rollercoaster called life. Things whizzing by so fast I don't know how to feel anything. Barely anything holding my interest and trying to find small goals to achieve.... Continue Reading →

Detached

Been stuck in this weird state for a few weeks now...where nothing feels real, I am an observer in my life and my body is not my own. My body feels like it doesn't fit right any more and the plus side of all this weirdness has been that I am also detached from the... Continue Reading →

Creatures in the night…and day

Last night there was a creature in a cupboard in the room. When I got into bed and turned the lights off, I heard rustling and muffled sounds that moved from the cupboard into the roof. I scrambled out of bed, got the lights back on and kinda just stood still for a while. Then... Continue Reading →

Stormy Life

A big part of being able to "move forward" from letting life happen to living life and engaging despite my disorder has been accepting the up and down nature of my existence. By this I mean that there's things I must accept will fluctuate unpredictability. Be it my cognitive state, mood, outlook on life, emotions,... Continue Reading →

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