Adjusting My Viewpoint

Looking back over the past 12months, I wouldn't say that my symptoms have decreased but something definitely changed in my behaviour. I broke out of the wall I'd built around myself and began interacting with the world again..or rather, I guess I expanded the perimeter of my wall to include more in my world. Seems... Continue Reading →

Muddled, Messed Up Memory

Memory and schizophrenia. Two words I wish had been combined in conversations I have had with psychiatrists and psychologists over the years. Because for a good while there it felt like I was navigating a minefield in my life that nobody else was aware of. When I was able to do my own research into... Continue Reading →

Not My Fave Month

*exhale* So I haven't been able to write for a while and now that I can, I thought I'd just take a load off. Living with a mental illness definitely tests me often but never as much as it does in December. I have never really liked it since my early childhood, easily my least... Continue Reading →

Contemplating Happiness

Lately I have been thinking about happiness and what it means to me. What I sacrifice my quest to attain it and how I define it. I've realized that all this is something that has changed over the past years and I think it is something that will continue to do so. Before my psychosis... Continue Reading →

Enjoying Okay

Never thought there'd be a day I enjoyed everything being okay. Not good or great, just okay. Because okay means things are manageable. Okay means not being overwhelmed by the voices or shadows. Okay means being able to take care of my needs without needing reminders. Finding joy in okay came after moving past the... Continue Reading →

Good Day

For the first time in weeks I woke up to silence.. No chatter from the voices, no muffled mumbling or noises from the shadows. No confusion trying to distinguish between my thoughts and implanted thoughts. It was like walking out of a loud venue into a silent, soundproofed room. I knew things were bad but... Continue Reading →

Breathing..

Feels like all I have been able to successfully handle in the past weeks has been breathing. Everything else just keeps happening and I'm just riding this rollercoaster called life. Things whizzing by so fast I don't know how to feel anything. Barely anything holding my interest and trying to find small goals to achieve.... Continue Reading →

Detached

Been stuck in this weird state for a few weeks now...where nothing feels real, I am an observer in my life and my body is not my own. My body feels like it doesn't fit right any more and the plus side of all this weirdness has been that I am also detached from the... Continue Reading →

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