Old Habit – Falling Into, Recognizing, (Attempts At) Breaking…

Recently, I caught myself slipping into an old habit I've been working to break. What I realized was that I was acting out a version of myself that I imagined others wanted me to be. I'd been feeling more mentally drained than is my norm and couldn't identify any new or any change in stressors.... Continue Reading →

True To The New Me

This month marks one year since I made some decisions about how I want my life to go. Decisions that gave me a way to live my life instead of merely existing. Decisions that forced me to speak out loud truths about myself to people, not knowing if they'd stick around. Decisions that led me... Continue Reading →

Same Destination, New Route

If people frequently walk, ride or drive through an unpaved area, soon you notice a path starts to stand out and becomes distinct. If it's a grassy area, that path stands out because there is no grass along it. Simpler to picture for me is following someones journey after it's snowed. ©best-wallpaper.net I saw something... Continue Reading →

Accepting Unbalance

End of another calendar year...definitely not one I thought I'd see but glad to prove the chattering noise in my head wrong sometimes. Been a wild 12 months in which I have challenged my perception of myself. I tried not to box myself into any definitions or limitations but rather trusted my gut for the... Continue Reading →

Adjusting My Viewpoint

Looking back over the past 12months, I wouldn't say that my symptoms have decreased but something definitely changed in my behaviour. I broke out of the wall I'd built around myself and began interacting with the world again..or rather, I guess I expanded the perimeter of my wall to include more in my world. Seems... Continue Reading →

Muddled, Messed Up Memory

Memory and schizophrenia. Two words I wish had been combined in conversations I have had with psychiatrists and psychologists over the years. Because for a good while there it felt like I was navigating a minefield in my life that nobody else was aware of. When I was able to do my own research into... Continue Reading →

Not My Fave Month

*exhale* So I haven't been able to write for a while and now that I can, I thought I'd just take a load off. Living with a mental illness definitely tests me often but never as much as it does in December. I have never really liked it since my early childhood, easily my least... Continue Reading →

Contemplating Happiness

Lately I have been thinking about happiness and what it means to me. What I sacrifice my quest to attain it and how I define it. I've realized that all this is something that has changed over the past years and I think it is something that will continue to do so. Before my psychosis... Continue Reading →

Enjoying Okay

Never thought there'd be a day I enjoyed everything being okay. Not good or great, just okay. Because okay means things are manageable. Okay means not being overwhelmed by the voices or shadows. Okay means being able to take care of my needs without needing reminders. Finding joy in okay came after moving past the... Continue Reading →

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