sigh

It is so frustrating that even though I felt myself slipping into the hole, there wasn't much I could do aside from slow the fall. I knew 2 months ago that a stressor I experienced would likely result in an increase in my depressive and psychotic symptoms. I was hoping to prevent a full on... Continue Reading →

When Paranoia Meets Reality

I now find myself in a state where my psychosis symptoms are overpowering my reasoning. And I am struggling to find counterarguments that work because the current condition of my external world is a realistic threat. Whereas usually I can reason that not everyone actually poses a physical threat, now I find that to be... Continue Reading →

Purging My Mind

*trigger warning: this contains talk of self-harm and suicide* Goodness... I cannot remember the last time I gave myself the space to write. It has been eating away at me and I finally realized it's because I have been scared to write. Scared because it always gives me a certain clarity and I have been... Continue Reading →

Right Routine…For Me

My routine is my saving grace when my mind is in havoc. Not having to try figure out what to do is a refreshing change from years ago when I could get lost in my thoughts and end up clueless about things. It's not that I pack my days or have big tasks I get... Continue Reading →

Stumbling Speech

Lately, more than is usual to me, I have been feeling inadequate because my speech communication skills suck. It has been irritating to me because it hinders my ability to accurately get things across and causes conversations to head into areas I do not intend. The trouble is, I often have trouble describing simple things... Continue Reading →

True To The New Me

This month marks one year since I made some decisions about how I want my life to go. Decisions that gave me a way to live my life instead of merely existing. Decisions that forced me to speak out loud truths about myself to people, not knowing if they'd stick around. Decisions that led me... Continue Reading →

Same Destination, New Route

If people frequently walk, ride or drive through an unpaved area, soon you notice a path starts to stand out and becomes distinct. If it's a grassy area, that path stands out because there is no grass along it. Simpler to picture for me is following someones journey after it's snowed. ©best-wallpaper.net I saw something... Continue Reading →

Accepting Unbalance

End of another calendar year...definitely not one I thought I'd see but glad to prove the chattering noise in my head wrong sometimes. Been a wild 12 months in which I have challenged my perception of myself. I tried not to box myself into any definitions or limitations but rather trusted my gut for the... Continue Reading →

Adjusting My Viewpoint

Looking back over the past 12months, I wouldn't say that my symptoms have decreased but something definitely changed in my behaviour. I broke out of the wall I'd built around myself and began interacting with the world again..or rather, I guess I expanded the perimeter of my wall to include more in my world. Seems... Continue Reading →

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